ChocoLatteNeopian

I hate the current version of Twilight. It's as lame as, well, lame. So, I'm gonna rewrite Twilight in my own words. Shortest Edition Bella Swan, a 17-year-old girl from Phoenix, moves to Forks (where her father, Charlie Swan lives) and falls in love with a very, very beautiful boy named Edward Cullen. He turns out to be a 'pontianak' (what you call a vampire in Malaysia AND is 200% cooler than disco balls) and sucks Bella's blood. Bella dies, duh. Then, Charlie gets mad and seeks the help of a shaman to hunt Edward and his family. The shaman successfully kills the Cullens and everyone lives happily ever after.

Don't get me wrong; I like Twilight for the interesting stuff in it. In fact, imagine living some place where mythical monsters are REAL. Won't that be awesome in some way? What I really hate is the fact that Bella keeps on describing Edward's looks (AKA Stephenie Meyer keeps on describing Edward). It's like we were wired to forget who Edward is and what he looks like. Like this: "Oh, Edward is the guy with messy bronze hair and marble-white skin." Two pages later... "Uhh, which one is Edward? Is he the blond vampire?"